Category Archives: Living My Life

First, meet your own standards

Posted on April 7, 2016 by hessd

I was on a long drive, once, with a woman I did not know well. I knew the family. I knew her husband much better than I knew her. But it was early morning and it was dark and it … Continue reading →

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Being Nice (or not)

Posted on March 6, 2016 by hessd

I had a truly amazing experience this week.  It happened right in front of me in less than a minute and I have been thinking about it ever since.  I was there to buy batteries.  A more complicated sale–the earphones … Continue reading →

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The Philosophy of “One Life to Live”

Posted on February 8, 2016 by hessd

My dad had a wonderful mind. That mind, and his gentleness, were perhaps his best features. He kept the gentleness as his mind began to slip away from him so he never became one of those irascible Alzheimer’s patients who … Continue reading →

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My “Going Home” Plan

Posted on January 21, 2016 by hessd

I’ve been in a lot of conversations lately that have to do with death and afterwards. And yesterday, Bette and I met with an “estate planner,” hoping to find a way to leave our property as gently as we hope … Continue reading →

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Does a Marriage Ever “End?”

Posted on January 9, 2016 by hessd

I have had occasions where I felt I needed to explain what kind of a married man I am/was. Here is the distinction I chose: I am romantic, but I am not sentimental. When I read Lucy Kalanithi’s account in … Continue reading →

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Unitasking. Really.

Posted on December 26, 2015 by hessd

Studies of efficiency by multitaskers have been nearly unanimous and almost entirely dismal. The more tasks being attempted at once, the lower the efficiency of each task performance. But what if we did it the other way around? Work is … Continue reading →

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The Matthew Tree

Posted on December 21, 2015 by hessd

At our house, we are really serious about telling Matthew’s story one year and Luke’s the other year. This year, it is Matthew so we are decorating the tree the way Matthew would have wanted it. Every now and then, … Continue reading →

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Being “happy”

Posted on December 17, 2015 by hessd

What do people mean when they say they are happy? Is it a state? A direction? A blissful moment? You are the one who most needs to know. I finished sending out our Christmas letters before my birthday (today) this … Continue reading →

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Happy New Year

Posted on December 2, 2015 by hessd

Happy new year to all. As you know, there are as many different calendars as there are reasons to establish a cycle of days. We think first of the annual calendar. [1] It starts in January, to honor Janus, the … Continue reading →

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Screwtape and Salience Games

Posted on October 11, 2015 by hessd

From the time I first read The Screwtape Letters (TSL), I have been intrigued by the way Screwtape plays with salience. And that was before I spent four very concentrated years at the University of Oregon studying salience. In this … Continue reading →

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