Hacksaw Ridge

This election day was tough for a lot of Democrats—myself included—but I am proud of how I spent the afternoon of election day. I went to a theater and saw director Mel Gibson’s new movie, Hacksaw Ridge. It is a very life-and-death movie and extremely gory. On that day, the contrast between all that violence and suffering, on the one hand, and “losing an election” on the other, helped me through the day–and through the night.

hacksaw-3I’ve had a chance now to give my attention to what the movie was actually about and it turns out that I value it for more than its immediately analgesic properties.  I want to tell you a little about the story. I am confident I can do that. Then I want to tell you about the look on Desmond Doss’s face (Doss is portrayed by Andrew Garfield), his face at one special point in the film. At that job, I am pretty sure I will fail, but I’m OK with that. If I could go back and pay full price to see a five second segment of the movie—and I’m not really sure I won’t—that is the five seconds I would want to see.  It is the five seconds I would recommend to you.

Desmond Doss was the first conscientious objector ever to receive the Congressional Medal of Honor. [1] That makes him stand out, even as we look back at his career from our present time. But, of course, he stood out even more dramatically at basic training where fusing a bunch of individuals into a team is the job to be done. Doss didn’t look like a team member. “Belonging to the team” was defined in basic training as being willing to kill to protect your buddies. Doss’s commitment that he would be willing to die to protect his buddies didn’t have much traction during basic training. It seemed abstract, somehow.

His commander tried to get rid of him in any number of ways. The Drill Instructor invited the other men to beat Doss up and they did. The psychologist tried to make a case that Doss was crazy. [2] They court-martialed him for refusing to obey a direct order and had he been convicted, he would have spent the remainder of the war in prison instead of saving the lives of the people who has beaten him.

Part of the psychological exam comes back later in the story, so I want to note it here. The psychologist, learning that Doss prays, asks whether Doss hears voices.  He doesn’t. But, pursues the psychologist, you do pray, you have conversations with God. Well, Doss says, a little ruefully I thought, they are kind of one way conversations. From the movie’s standpoint, this early in the story, we know that God hears Doss and that Doss does not hear God. [3]

hacksaw-2As part of the campaign to control Okinawa, the American troops had assaulted Hacksaw Ridge several times before  In the movie version, it was Doss’s first time in battle as a medic. The fighting was horrible and as director, Mel Gibson, makes the most of it. But it establishes the setting for the five seconds I would like to see again. The immediate landscape is a waste of blasted trees and scorched rocks. The sound of war is unbearably loud. The suffering of Doss’s company is awful and personal. We know these people who are in such agony and so does Doss.  And in that setting, Doss loses touch with God.

For the first time in the film, we see him confused. He looks wildly around, trying to see something in the smoke and flame and says, “God, I can’t hear you.” Doss has lost touch with the mission that had, up until then, sustained him.

Then, from off in the smoke somewhere, but not too far away, a soldier moans, “Can anyone help me?” We see the meanings of that call—all the meanings—register on Doss’s face.

Those are the five seconds I want to see again and invite you to see if you are able to get through the gore.

Doss knows immediately what to do and knows, at the same time, that he has heard God. You could say he has heard God “through” or “in” the voice of the wounded soldier. [4] Actually, you could say that all he actually heard was the soldier. I think that is an entirely plausible way to describe the event from the outside. But the story gives us how it seemed to Doss from the inside. We can see, as we look at the change in his face, what that voice meant to him.

So he went back into the battle.  “Lord,” he prayer over and over throughout that night, “Help me get just one more.”  He got 72.

[1] There have been two since, both from the Vietnam war.
[2] At that point, I have to say, my mind flashed back to the wonderful psychiatric exam of an actor in Montreal who was hired to play Jesus in a passion play put together by the local Catholic diocese. The psychiatrist examined “Jesus” along several lines, but it was clear that she liked him and the note she sent to the judge—and which we see the judge reading from the bench—said, “This is one of the sanest men I have ever met. He is in a lot better shape than a lot of the judges in this system.” That’s not an exact quote, but it’s close. The movie is called Jesus of Montreal.
[3] That turns out to be important because once the troops land at Okinawa, the movie turns wildly visual. “Seeing” in nearly all there is, apart from the artillery shellings, for the next hour. But the story turns on “hearing.”
[4] Doss heard that same voice, we may imagine, in the Japanese soldiers he treated.

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Politics, Government, and the Federal System

So…President Trump?  I find it hard to type the words, but if I had had a blog in 1980, I would have found it hard to type “President Reagan.”  I don’t pretend to have begun, yet, to come to grips with last night’s disaster, but in this morning’s brief reflection–it has to be short because I have work to do today [1], I want to talk about some things that will help me.  Maybe they will help you.

Reflection 1

Whoever is having success at the national level begins to neglect the importance of politics and government at the state level.  The other side of that same coin is that the people in the states get accustomed to shifting their attention to the other side of whatever initiative is being taken at the national level.  For today, that means that the left edge of the politically possible in each state is going to start receiving more attention.

States shrug, it seems, and say, “Well then, I guess we’ll have to do it ourselves.”  A great deal of good work at the state level is just about to begin.  If it weren’t for the punniness of it, I would say we are just beginning an era of “states-manship.”

Reflection 2

broken Bridges

The expression “politics and government” is common in our language, but an appreciation of the different realities they point to is not so common.  “Politics,” as it is normally thought of is the partisan contest for the offices where power can be exercised.  “Government” is the process if identifying national needs and aspirations and collecting the will and the resources to meet them successfully.  Politics is about collecting votes.  Government is about keeping the country safe and the bridges in good repair. [2]

Reflection 3

I don’t fill my days with TV watching and hand-wringing.  There are things I have chosen to spend my time on.  Out of force of habit, I call these things “my work,” and some of them “my ministry.”  (Overlapping categories.)  They matter immediately.  The success or failure of these things is immediate; it is something I experience.  In a few hours, some dear friends and I will be leading a Bible study class, for instance.  Today, we will be considering the early failures of the Israelites after they were rescued from Egypt by a God they had only recently heard of. [3]  They had been slaves for many generations and that turned out not to be the background that led easily to becoming a covenant people, a people who honored the God who chose them and freed them.  Then, God willing, we will discuss what our own preparation to be free and responsible has been like.  It is good work to have available on such a cataclysmic day and I will very probably work it harder than I would have otherwise.

Reflection 4

And last (and briefly) I cannot imagine a better scenario leading to the victory speech of President-elect Elizabeth Warren.  I don’t think she could have followed four years or eight years of Hillary’s presidency and I don’t know if she will be willing to run, but the ball has just been teed up perfectly for her and I like her very much.

[1]  I am indebted to my brother Mark for having, many years ago, passed along a prayer he had found somewhere.  The man has a mind like a vacuum cleaner.  The prayer goes, “Thank you, God, for giving me work to do that is so important that it doesn’t matter very much whether I want to do it at the time.”

[2]  The progressives of the late 1800s used to campaign against urban political machines and their use of contracts for friends by saying that there is no Democratic way or Republican way of paving the streets.  (There are, of course, political donors who are Republicans and some who are Democrats.)  This bridge needs to be fixed.  The people who live there need for it to be fixed.  That’s government.

[3]  Pharoah said, “Who is this Yahweh that I should obey him?”  Oddly, the Hebrew slaves said the same thing.  Neither they nor the Pharoah had ever heard of this “YHWH.”  When you face the prospect of a tough sell, remember Moses with compassion.

 

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“…and painful shoes”

Where would a phrase like that come from? A shoe salesman? Possible, especially if there were a more comfortable and more expensive pair of shoes available. A podiatrist? You can see that, although in my experience, podiatrists are more likely to be interested in structural anomalies than what your feet feel like to you.

And what would be paired with an expression like that? Maybe “an ugly suit” or “an ill-fitting dress?” Those would work.

Neither of those speculations is anywhere near the mark. Here is the paragraph that contains the expression.

I, myself, was everything the date of a prominent psychotherapist should be: unobtrusive in a dark blue suit, pale blue silk tie and a pair of sapphire cufflinks Susan had given me to celebrate my virility. Susan was amazing in red silk and painful shoes.

This is told in the first person, so the “I” sentences all refer to a detective named “Spenser,” whose first name is never revealed. It is set in Robert B. Parker’s mystery, Back Story (see page 106). This essay is just an appreciation. I was entirely unprepared for this juxtaposition of worlds and I laughed out loud before I remembered where I was and recovered my good manners.

Juxtaposition

As I have often said in these essays, the funniest book about humor I have ever read is Max Eastman’s The Enjoyment of Laughter and Eastman emphasizes that one of the things that makes us laugh is to have our minds guided in one direction and then suddenly see that we have been led astray. And the longer the journey in the wrong direction and the more sudden the realization that we have been duped, the funnier it is.

painful-shoesThe words I chose for the title are, as you see in the quote, the last three words. Everything before that, including the previous paragraph, which describes his buddy Hawk in terms that belong to the same genre, is about fashion. He pretends to be talking about how he blends in. That’s why he starts off with “unobtrusive.” But nothing else he describes is unobtrusive: the suit is not, the tie is not, and the cufflinks are not—particularly not when tied to his “virility”—so Parker is playing with “unobtrusive” already.

Then there is the now familiar joke about the wedding in which the groom’s attire is described in excruciating detail—as if it mattered—and the bride’s is summarized as “the bride wore white.” I think Parker wants us to have that joke in mind too.

But my favorite part of this joke is that everything is visual…until we get to the shoes. The shoes are described from the standpoint of the wearer. Everything else is described from the standpoint of the viewer. Besides, “how women feel about what they are wearing” has never been a major focus of murder mysteries. In murder mysteries, the important thing about women is how they look, not the price they have to pay to look like that.

And this description follows that standard (Susan was amazing) down to the last three words. The conjunction “and” promises that the thought will be continued. “And” isn’t like “but,” after all. Parker doesn’t say “even though the shoes must have been painful.” Nothing funny about that.

No…he promises a continuation of the theme with “and” and then violates that promise in three ways in three words. That’s why it’s funny.

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Trump calls for sabotage

Every losing candidate for the presidency in recent years has conceded defeat in the election and wished his opponent well. I don’t think that is going to happen this time. This time, it looks like the Trump-led Republicans (that isn’t all the Republicans by any means) are preparing to continue the war.

Here is what struck me that way.

If that doesn’t work for you, try “cartoon trump ad moving to the white house” or go directly to https://www.ispot.tv/ad/AFBj/future45-the-clintons.  It’s worth 30 seconds of your time.

I was struck by the line, “When America sent Hillary back to the White House…” That is the first line in a cartoon Trump ad that I saw yesterday, on the weekend before the election. It looked like a concession speech—everything but the wishing his opponent well. Instead, it was, “You’re going to wish you hadn’t done that.” or, more briefly, “I told you so.”

“I told you so” is interesting to me in two ways. First, it presupposes that Trump will lose the election. There isn’t any other way to understand “When America sent Hillary back…” Second, it presupposes that Hillary has done something that will make “America,” or at least the Trump-leaning part of America, ashamed of her. In the dim background, I keep hearing the beginnings of a call for impeachment [1]

America, she has not yet taken the oath of office. This is like a groom accusing the bride of being unfaithful to the marriage vows before they get to the alter. Hello? She can’t have been a bad president yet.

The ad is nearly as much anti-Bill Clinton as it is anti-Hillary. There is a reference to Bill’s foreign policy speeches. I can scarcely imagine who that is aimed at. I really think it is just filler. The “report” of the Clinton moving day is given by a cartoon reporter named Robyn Lewis. At the end of the ad, Bill Clinton moves over to her and does something inappropriate—I can’t quite see what it is—and then winks at the “camera.”

That is why Bill is there. A lot of people have not forgiven “Slick Willy” for getting away with something. He was accused, but he denied. He was impeached but not convicted. The moralists who keep score so rigorously and those who are as guilty as Bill but who couldn’t evade conviction, are equally angry and that is a splash of resentment that gets on the bystanders. It cost Al Gore the 2000 election, in my judgment. It will cost Hillary every day of her presidency.

So this Trump ad, presupposing that they will lose “the main battle,” seem to be calling for years of guerrilla war as the next step. Even if the Democrats regain control of the Senate for two years—that would be the maximum, as I see it—the House will still be firmly Republican and ready to stymie anything President Hillary wants to do. More states will break out the pre-Civil War doctrine of “interposition,” interposing themselves between the federal government and “their” citizens. [2] There will be targeted budget shortages. Roads, rails, and bridges will continue to deteriorate.  The U. S. will continue to flirt with bankruptcy. “The interim is just the election carried on by other means”—that is my adaptation of the famous Clauswitz quote about war and politics. [3]

That is a very bleak picture of our future and I hope very much that it does not turn out to be true. I do think that this Trump ad is a call for exactly that future.

[1] Just a moment for a little clarification of language. “Impeachment” is something the House of Representatives does. It is a charge which is then “tried” in the Senate. By my reading, the House will still be solidly Republican after the election. Is there a downside to inaugurating impeachment proceedings at once? I can’t think what it would be.
[2] The conclusion reached by the Civil War was that they are all “our” citizens. The states have the constitutional right to control some areas of politics, but all citizens are citizens of the United States first and of…oh…Texas…second.
[3] “War is regarded as nothing but the continuation of state policy with other means.”

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Even the faintest breeze

I want to share, today, some of the amazing people I see here at Holladay Park Plaza—the retirement center where Bette and I have wound up. But I don’t want to start there. I want to start with some dogs who have learned things that cramp their style.

breeze-2One of the great pleasures of teaching my Political Psychology class [1] over the years was introducing my students to Martin E. P. Seligman’s marvelous book, Helplessness. The focus of the book was on a particular cognition—something you had learned. And what you had learned is “there is nothing I can do.”

There are, of course, fatalistic religions and philosophies which teach that there is, in fact, nothing you can do and acquiescence or acceptance or even just submission is the relevant virtue. But Seligman studied dogs [2] where these religions and philosophies are not considered seriously as far as we know.  There are two conditions about these dogs that I would like to use as the introduction to the amazing people I mentioned at the beginning.

The experimental apparatus doesn’t need to be described at any length here, but it might help to know that some of the dogs were exposed to an electric shock in one end of a two-compartment box and they had to jump over a low partition into the other end to stop getting shocked. No dog was ever unable to learn that. The light comes on; that means that the shock will start in X seconds; no need to hurry, says the experienced dog.  At X-1 seconds, the dog lopes over to the barrier and jumps over it. [3]

On the other hand, some dogs were leashed to the shock end of the box and there really was nothing they could do about it and some, after a while, showed every sign of acquiescence, acceptance, or submission. That’s a lot to say about a dog, but I wanted to re-use that really nifty sequence one more time. These dogs  had learned that they were helpless and coped with it the best they could.

Then the leash was removed. Did the dogs leap over the barrier at the first opportunity? Nope. Because these were “educated dogs.” [4] They had degrees in the School of Hard Shocks. They had learned that there was nothing they could do and now that there actually was something they could do, they didn’t notice.

Imagine a dog from the first condition having a conversation with a dog in the second condition. “Hey. Look! There’s no leash on you anymore. You’re free! All you have to do is jump over this little barrier.”

breeze-5The educated dog lies there. The light comes on. Eventually, the shock starts. The educated dog lies on the floor looking philosophical.  The first dog says, “Hey. Like this. See? The light comes on, I jump over the barrier. Neither of us is wearing a leash. Come on! It’s not hard. Just Do It.” The second dog doesn’t respond because he knows it is no use and he continues to “know” that even when safety is a few easy feet away. This dog in exhibiting “learned helplessness,” which is the subject of Seligman’s early work.

With that much to go on, let’s consider what a Truly Amazing Dog (TAD) would do. A TAD would continue to check the conditions of his confinement to see if they still apply. They always have. So far. [5] A TAD understands all too well what the verb “pay” means in the expression “pay attention” and he is willing to continue to pay that price although paying it has never bought him anything. Light, check the leash, shock, keep checking the leash; choose resignation, but don’t stop watching for any change in the sequence that might hint at changes.

Then, one day, he is not leashed. What happens? Well, for a regular dog, nothing happens. He stands or sits or lies there and gets shocked. For a Truly Amazing Dog, he leaps over the barrier and finds safety. And if, on the next day, the leash is back, he goes back to the sequence: light, check leash, shock, keep checking, etc.

Just about done with the dogs. Stay with me.

If all we cared about, in looking at this situation, was how to manage the greatest number of escapes on those days when escape was possible, this “amazing” dog would not be amazing. Smart, diligent, successful…but not amazing. But I want to look at this in a different way. I want to look at what it costs the dog to be aware, always aware, of the possibility of “success.”

“Success” in the case of this particular dog means “escape.” But now I want to turn to the breeze-7old people. I had seen a lot of Truly Amazing Elders (TAE) before I came to Holladay Park Plaza, but I had never seen such a concentration of old people before. There is nothing like living in a retirement center to see a lot of old people, after all.

And in these old people (myself included, of course) I see the same kinds of responses Seligman found in his dogs. [6] And the ones I am calling Truly Amazing Elders are those who are “leashed” most of the time, but are always alert to any moment when they are not. “Leashed,” obviously, is a metaphor. We don’t put anyone on a leash here at HPP. But some people carry their oxygen around with them. Some must take a walker everywhere they go. Some carry their grief for the loss of a much-loved spouse everywhere they go. Some carry the burden of “I used to be important and now I am not” everywhere they go. Once we know we are talking about metaphors, just what constitutes a “leash” can be quite varied.

But now that we know we are talking about metaphorical constraints, it is time to go back to what it costs to be ready to take advantage of anytime the leash is not there. If you have a persistent pain in your shoulder, you do not, as a rule, say, “I wonder if today will be a good day for a swim.” Why? Because holding onto a world in which you always might be free to swim—a world in which you did not have that incapacitating pain in your shoulder—takes a lot of effort. It is a lot easier to ignore the possibility than to consider, over and over again, whether you might be free to do it this time.

At the risk of sounding pathetic, I admit that I have had that choice presented to me on occasion. I remember that I was in some kind of funk for several days [7] and was surprised to notice, one afternoon, that I wasn’t “in it” anymore. And I wondered how long I had been free of it (no leash) and just hadn’t noticed because what I knew about myself was that I was in a funk and they last a long time.

I remember discovering that a lingering feeling of grievance (it had been anger, originally) had blown away. It was gone when I noticed it. I wondered whether, if I had been paying attention, I would have seen it go away. If I had, I might have been able to think back on anything I might have done that had helped it move on. I didn’t get to ask that question—you will agree, I hope, that it is a question with a good deal of promise—because I wasn’t paying attention.

breeze-8If I had really wanted a restoration of that relationship, wanted it urgently, I think I would have noticed when the grievance left. So what I called “a failure of attention” at the time (I just didn’t notice when the grievance stopped) may actually have been a failure of will (I just didn’t want it badly enough). So to translate this everyday catastrophe back into the world of Seligman’s dogs, I didn’t want to be free of the leash badly enough to notice when I actually got free.

I think of it sometimes as a sailor becalmed. You really want to go somewhere—back to the dock, for instance, and then home and then to dinner—but a sail is what you have and there is no wind. [8] That sailor will notice every faint breeze. He might notice anything that “might possibly be a breeze” or might become a breeze. If there is a feeling in the air that precedes a breeze and that indicates that a breeze is coming, I am sure he would notice that as well. He wants that breeze urgently and he is willing to pay (the cost of) the kind of attention that assures instant awareness.

I said that I see a lot of people here at HPP who are “leashed” to something. I had to say that first so that I could say this second. I see a lot of people here who seem to be alert to the faintest breeze; who are alert to any occasion when taking a deep breath seems suddenly easy or when dinner suddenly smells really good or when the walker I am using to keep my balance suddenly seems almost to be moving on its own and I am walking along with it.

You will not—trust me on this—celebrate those events if you don’t notice them and you will not notice them if you take for granted that they are always there and always will be there. If you know, in short, that you are permanently leashed, then you will not inflict on yourself the pain of always checking to see if the leash might not be there today.

And every day, I see people around me who are willing to notice any small decrease in discomfort or any sudden increase in hope or even in appetite. I celebrate those people. I admire their courage. They are Truly Amazing Elders and I want to get to know them well enough to learn how they do it.

[1] For my Westminster College friends who took this same material under the heading Political Behavior, I haven’t forgotten what we called it back then, but I last taught this material under that name in 1980—36 years ago—and at Portland State, it was always Political Psychology.
[2] Mostly. The findings turned out to apply to mice and rabbits and squirrels, etc. as well.
[3] I saw film of this same experiment on goldfish. The experienced goldfish loiters near the line and at the last minute, flips its tail and gets to safety. The lecturer, noting the tendency to wait until the last minute, called this a “grad school goldfish.”
[4] I don’t mean to be all snarky about “educated dogs.” The dogs that learned that they could always jump the barrier and escape the shock were “educated dogs” too. But their education had been designed to lead them to a different conclusion.
[5] “The triumph,” as Samuel Johnson says of second marriages, “of hope over experience.”
[6] The full set has four conditions: a) always free to escape, b) free at first, then leashed, c) leashed at first, and then free, and d) always leashed. I want to write sometime about b) because there is a great story there, but today, I am thinking about c).
[7} I say “depressed” when I am talking to myself, but that word has become a diagnosis with some boundaries of meaning to it and I don’t have the credentials to use it except in my own inner dialog.
[8] I am no sailor, so I may get some of the mechanics wrong, but I do know about wanting to be home and safe.

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Vote NO on virtue

It is my great privilege to pass along to you one of the best political recommendations I have ever had the pleasure to read.  Below, you will see a picture of the last argument offered on this measure in Oregon’s Voter’s Pamphlet for November 8, 2016.

The arguments on ballot measures are divided into two sections: ARGUMENT IN FAVOR and ARGUMENT IN OPPOSITION.  All very sensible.  This is Oregon, after all.  If you have a Voter’s Pamphlet handy, you can turn to pages M-28 to M-36 to see the whole set of arguments.

vote-noThe title of this ballot measure is as follows: Limits contributions, expenditures, requires disclosure in Multnomah County candidate elections.  The measure in the form of a question (Should the charter require…?) follows, then a Summary, then an Explanatory Statement.  Then there are 18 “arguments” in support of the idea.  All of the people you expect to weigh in against the perversion of elections by the dominance of big spenders are represented here.  All these arguments make good sense to me.

There is one argument in opposition.  It says ARGUMENT IN OPPOSITION.  There isn’t a smiley face or anything.  You have to read it.  And if you can scarcely believe what you read first–that’s how I felt about it–you really want to keep on reading.

And if you follow the site to best-words.com, you wind up at a site called honest-elections.com, headed by a banner that says YES on Measure 26-184 and where you are given a chance to place lawn signs and campaign in a number of very traditional ways for the passage of the measure.  This is the group that you got to by following the message ARGUMENT IN OPPOSITION.

In my judgment, this election has been WAY too serious.  I don’t see anything wrong with mixing a little levity with all the necessary gravity.   I was on their side of the issue from the time I read the text of the ballot measure, so they didn’t really change my vote.  They just gave me a whole morning of happiness.

Thanks, guys.

The rest of this post is a picture of their Voter’s Pamphlet ad.

Vote No.jpg

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A Man Called Ove

The maxim that it is more blessed to give than to receive is well known and I would apply it without a second thought to director Hannes Holm’s 2015 movie A Man Called Ove. I think the movie fits the maxim and vice versa. On the other hand, I think the maxim doesn’t really capture the two points I would like to explore in this essay and I would like to extend the implications just a bit.

The first point ove-1is that it calls for a comparison of “amounts” or “degrees” of being blessed. It is the word “more” in the maxim that has us comparing one amount of blessedness with another and saying that one amount is larger. That is what “more” means and what it needs to mean. [It says right here than you aren’t allowed to do that.]

But what strikes me in this movie isn’t anything like an amount at all. It is more like a flavor or an overtone or a tint. It is another kind or another source or another delivery system for the “blessedness.” I find that really thought-provoking.

And that leads me to the second point, which has to do with what I called a “delivery system.” But what, really, is the means by which these blessings are conferred? There is no scene where single shaft of light from heaven illuminates the old man’s features. He doesn’t pronounce a blessing on the children and then they pronounce it on him. How does this work exactly?

Ove (Rolf Lassgård) is a grumpy old widower and retiree. [1] His life is stable, but bleak. Then some neighbors move in—people who are very hard to ignore—and Ove is forced to do an amazing variety of things he has not done for a long time. Some, he has probably never done. Let’s look at an example or two.

ove-5The wife, Parveneh, (Bahar Pars) of Ove’s new neighbor is Persian. That’s a short way of saying that she doesn’t know how to be Swedish. It turns out that she has no intention of becoming culturally Swedish, but that’s another story. [2] Parveneh has to make a quick trip to the hospital and leaves Ove in the waiting room with her two children. [This one picture nails the two characters exactly.]

She gives Ove a book that could, in a pinch, be used to entertain the children. The children prevail on him to read to them. They have no idea how far outside Ove’s comfort zone that is. He has never been a father. He doesn’t know all the “reading to the kids” tricks that fathers pick up so quickly. So Ove starts reading to them about a bear. The children don’t like the way he is reading. They think the lines the bear says should sound like a bear.

I don’t think “outside his comfort zone” really captures this request. Ove has very likely never done this or anything like this before. If he ran across a man reading in growly sounds to little children in a public place, I am sure he would have disapproved of it. But he tries. And he does really well. And the kids really like it and, at that moment, they really like him.

How does it work?

So let’s stop, after just this one example, and look at what he gave the children and what the experience of succeeding in pleasing the children with his creative artistry “gave” to him. [3] Ove gave the children a distraction while their mother was busy in the hospital. The children gave Ove the first evidence he had ever had that he might be one of those adults who knows how to please children. The children gave him reason to believe that his growly conversation was delightfully bear-like (ursine, we say in the trade) and he knows he invented those sounds himself.

And, getting away from the “giving” metaphor, we can say directly that Ove is given the opportunity to be a kind of person he never had been before (probably) and that he certainly had not been since his wife’s death.  He takes that opportunity and is forced, as a result, to re-evaluate the kind of person he is.

In another scene—another crisis, of course—he is called into the neighbor’s house. The children need to be looked after. He also winds up in the middle of an argument about what to do with a dishwasher that doesn’t work and is therefore, no more than a piece of junk. And Bette remembers (she’s usually right about things like this) that the kitchen where the junky dishwasher sat was full of dirty dishes.

Ove survives bedtime for the children. We don’t see that. Then he fixes the dishwasher. We don’t see that either. And when the parents return, they discover that the counters are all clear because the dirty dishes are either in the dishwasher or because they have been washed and put away in the cupboards.

That’s a very nice favor for Ove to have done and it is a real help to the parents. But a prominent part of the beginning of the story is the parade of neighbors who ask Ove to “look at” (fix) things and he always says No. He says No to the request and also a broader and more hurtful No to the person. Ove is a cranky old man and none of these neighbors means anything to him. But then he is “forced” into the neighbor’s house. There must have been a time for the kids to be in bed. He did that. And he stands in the kitchen looking at a dishwasher he knows he could fix. And he does that. And then he looks (Bette’s version) at the counter full of dirty dishes and then at the empty dishwasher and he shrugs, I suppose, and starts loading the dishes into the dishwasher.

He came to help with the kids because the parents had an urgent need for him. But then what? They didn’t have an urgent need for him to fix the dishwasher. It must have just seemed fitting to Ove. A guy who would come over at night and figure out a way to get the two little girls to bed just must be the kind of guy who would fix a cranky piece of machinery if he could. And the guy who voluntarily fixed the dishwasher is probably the kind of guy who go on and wash the dishes.

I’m making is sound like logic. I know it isn’t logic, but I chose that phrasing deliberatelyove-4 because I think that there is an affinity of some kind between one act of kindness and another. [4] Something like the current of a stream is set up and Ove “drifts downstream” following the implications of the kindnesses he has done, just as he had been following the logic of his refusal to help any of his neighbors.  Actually, “who he is to the neighbors” is very much like “who he was to his wife,” who was a marvelous person and the first person ever to really believe in him.

So when we think about “the blessedness of receiving,” I think we need to be alert to currents like these. Ove benefitted much more than anyone else did from his kindnesses to his new neighbors. And it isn’t just that they appreciated his efforts. It is not just that. It is also that Ove was forced to think some very positive things about himself. He was forced to admit that he had done some generous things and possibly even to speculate about whether he was a generous person. Thinking those things was perfectly reasonable, giving the things he had actually done.

That isn’t why he did them. But that is, in fact, how he was blessed.

[1] Ben Whittaker (Robert De Niro) says in the opening lines of The Intern, that Freud thought life was focused on work and love. Well, Ben says, my wife died and I am now retired. What is there to focus on.
[2] In this little town, “doing it the Swedish way” and “doing it the right way” are completely synonymous. Just having someone like Parveneh around makes that clear.
[3] Right away, when you start putting words like “gave” in quotes, you know you are into new territory. The point here is that Ove did this thing and experienced himself in a new way (daring, creative storyteller) and found himself rewarded for it. All those are internal experiences. So “gave to Ove” really doesn’t capture either the source of the reward or the nature of it. “Caused to grow in Ove” would point to the experience better, but we don’t say that.
[4] Or one act of cruelty to another. The tie is so tight that it is a commonplace among sports commentators that a player who makes a superb defensive play at one end of the basketball floor is quite likely to return to the other end and make a superb offensive play. In some odd way, making the basket is “implied” in the prior blocking of the shot. In sports, sometimes, we call it “momentum.”

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“Oh, the farmers and the cowhands should be friends”

IMG_0336.jpg

One of the nice things about moving to a new neighborhood is that you see new signs. This one is just south of the Starbucks closest to our house. The first time I saw it, I laughed out loud. I had said “decaf” as often as everybody else and had never heard the “calf” in “decaf.” [1]

I didn’t think the main slogan was all that funny by itself, but I was still laughing about “de-calf,” so I gave it a pass. Then I got down to PeTA, the sponsoring organization. I don’t think the folks at the People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PeTA) are funny at all. Then I noticed that in that new PeTA context, even “de-calf” didn’t make me laugh any more. Ah well. Other things still do.

not-your-milk-2As I continued thinking about the sign (I do walk by it every day), I began thinking about the premise. That’s just the way my mind works. Negatively, the premise can be put this way: the milk does not belong to you unless you are a calf. Positively, we could say that the milk is the rightful property of the cow’s progeny, not the cow’s owner.

I got to talking about the sign with some friends and said that the sign had an implicit premise. I didn’t think that was a controversial thing to say. The premise is that the use of the cow’s milk is appropriate to the calf and not to others. But one of the premises that emerged in the discussion was that the person who said this—for our purposes, let’s imagine that a person said it, not that it is the product of an expensive ad campaign—and that the person might have meant something else.

That surprised me, I have to say. I have always thought that the premise belonged to the formulation. “This way of saying it,” I would say, “requires that premise, however the author might have intended it.” And then the conversation went on, leaving both premises lying on the table without further attention.

not-your-milk-1Another unfunny way to think about the sign is to think about the alternatives the sign offers. Nothing against coconut milk, of course, or soy milk. It isn’t that I have some fantasy that little coconuts or little soy beans are being deprived of milk that would otherwise have been theirs.

It may be that the reason for placing a calf in the picture was to imply that when we take the milk, the calf is being deprived of it. But that is as much a fantasy as the little coconuts and soy beans. The way we produce and distribute milk has nothing at all to do with whether the calf’s needs are being met.

Then things got completely out of control and it occurred to me that so far as this particular PeTA sign is concerned, it would be perfectly permissible for one’s own mother to pump and store her breast milk so that in later years, you could put it in your coffee. Naturally, I am not suggesting that they would favor that. Some of the folks at PeTA are surely mothers and would see the humor in it. I am saying only that that solution fits comfortably within the standards they laid out in their sign.

not-your-milk-4I don’t think the sign would have gotten under my skin the way it has if I had not enjoyed it so much the first few times I saw it. I saw it as a clever pun (de-calf your coffee) rather than as a moral admonition. And when I saw the sign for what it was, I had the feeling that I had been ambushed—as if someone had whacked me on the knuckles while I was still laughing.

OK guys. I’m not laughing anymore. You can change the sign any time you like.

[1] The Lagunitas Brewery supports Oregon Public Broadcasting, which is a fine thing for them to do. But I didn’t pay much attention to it until they began to claim that Lagunitas puts the “pub” in “public radio.” Then I bought Lagunitas beer for a while just as a thank you.

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Dumbo’s Dilemma

OK, let’s talk about Dumbo. Remember? The little elephant with the big ears?

A helpful circus mouse (Disney, remember?) points out that if he opened up his giant ears he could fly and thus become a big star. Dumbo, being no dummy, disagrees, until the mouse says he’s got a magic feather. If Dumbo would just hold the magic feather in his trunk, open up his wings and jump off the high-dive platform, he would fly.

Weeks, months go by. Convinced that the magic feather is what keeps him afloat, Dumbo continues to fly. One fine day, flying along at cruising altitude, a strong wind whisks the feather out of his trunk. Horrified, Dumbo drops like a stone. The mouse, hitching a ride in his hat, screams at Dumbo that the feather was a trick, a ruse, a lie! He could fly without the feather!

Thanks to Wikipedia for refreshing my memory about Dumbo.  I needed that because I’m going to lean on the little guy pretty hard today.

What first caught my attention was this line, from a column by Michael Lind: “Politicians should tell working Americans what they need to hear, not what they want to hear.”[1] As a former campaign manager, I can tell you that is not the way it looks to the candidate in the middle of a race.

Michael Lind or, more likely, the headline writers at the New York Times, asks in his column (see it here): “Can you have a good life if you don’t have a good job?”

good-jobs-4The answer is Yes. First, he needs to do a little defining of terms. Second, he wants to answer the question positively: Yes, you can have a good life even if you don’t have a good job. I’m right with him so far.

But then, third, he begins to talk about who needs to do what to resolve this dilemma in our contemporary world of politics. To my mind, that is where the wheels come off of Lind’s argument. He wants candidates to tell voters what they need to hear. You don’t win elections that way.  You forfeit elections that way.

Good jobs and the good life

Let’s get a little clarity on the key terms. By “good jobs,” Lind means “jobs with solid wages, regular hours, and, perhaps, generous employer-provided benefits.” If you wanted to talk a little more expansively about what “good job” ought to mean—and ordinarily, I do—you would want a lot more than that. But Lind is right that in the current climate, when people use the expression “good jobs,” they mean something like wages, hours, and benefits.

“Good life,” is, as you would expect, a little trickier, but here is what Lind means: “access to the basic goods and services that define a decent life in a modern society.” [2]

Now the point of Lind’s article is perilously like the crucial moment in the story of Dumbo, the elephant who can fly if he thinks he can fly. If he thinks it is the feather that enables him to fly, he has to have that feather. Let me explain. I’m going to be pushing Lind on who is going to deliver the mouse’s line, but I really like his description of the situation.

The “how to fly” team

To begin with, there is a “how to fly” team. Lind describes a consensus among “bipartisan experts” as one component of that team. The other, as you will see in the quote below, is legislators. (Not candidates, please note.) By “legislators,” Lind means to point to the people who are actually defining and funding programs.

Bipartisan experts tend to agree that the decline in employer-provided benefits and the rise of unconventional work arrangements are trends that should be accommodated, by reforms including new portable benefits and expanded income maintenance programs, like tax credits for low-income workers.

For several decades, this consensus has been reflected in what legislators have actually been doing. Slowly, incrementally, Americans have been moving away from a system in which a good job with a generous employer was the key to having a good life to a new system in which even people with low-wage jobs can have access to the basic goods and services that define a decent life in a modern society.

So this sounds pretty good, right? The old sources of “good jobs” are decaying, but slowly, legislators are moving to “a new system in which even people with low-wage jobs” can have good lives. So what does that actually look like? What programs are we talking about.

Here are four.

One piece of the new system includes the earned-income tax credit, a means-tested wage subsidy that has enjoyed bipartisan support since its creation in 1975.

And then there are new kinds of jobs.

Another example is provided by jobs in the health care and social assistance sector. These jobs are projected to grow much more rapidly than the average for all occupations, increasing by 38 percent between 2012 and 2024 and accounting for 3.8 of the 9.3 million new service sector jobs.

And besides that.

The Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act — Obamacare — enacted into law in 2010 sought to ensure that all Americans without employer-provided health insurance had access to affordable health insurance, through either Medicaid, state-regulated exchanges or a federal exchange.

And furthermore.

Here again, many Democrats and Republicans agree that the answer [to the reduction in families who save for retirement] is to detach retirement security from particular employers, though it should still depend on how much you work. A number of states have considered creating state-sponsored retirement savings plans for private sector workers without employer-provided retirement savings plans. California, Illinois, Oregon and Massachusetts have already established such programs.

If we just relied on that, Lind says, we could fly. Look ma. No feather!

Problem One: No feather

There are two problems we have to deal with for this Dumbo scenario to work. The first is that voters are stuck on the magic feather. Here’s what they mean, according to Lind.

The kind of jobs voters want exist in:

“a world in which one or a few lifetime jobs in a paternalistic company that provided benefits during your working life and a pension after your retirement.”

good-job-1That’s the feather. That’s how you know you are flying. And I think a “magic feather” is a really good symbol for this effect because this kind of a world is not something that individual workers can do or groups of workers can do. It is not something a candidate supported by the workers can do. It’s “magic” and the symbol of the magic is the feather.

 

What voters see when they look at the future is this:

“…individuals struggle to survive by piecing together “gigs” and “tasks” with a bewildering variety of federal, state and local social programs may strike many workers as a dystopian nightmare. The price of increased flexibility may be increased stress.”

In short, they don’t see anything like a feather. So the voters decide that they can’t fly after all and they fall. We fall.

Problem Two: No mouse

So now we go back to the story, the part where the mouse confesses that the whole “magic feather thing” was a fraud and that Dumbo doesn’t need it. He can fly in a new way. [3] What Lind wants if for someone—“politicians,” he says, to step up and play the part of the mouse. He wants them to tell voters during the campaign that all that stuff about “good jobs” was just a fraudulent feather; that they really can fly without it. I don’t see that happening.

So we actually can fly and everyone is allowed to say that except candidates for office.

Donald Trump “proposes to protect American workers from competition with illegal immigrants, the offshoring of jobs by United States-based corporations and harmful practices by trading partners like China.”

Hillary Clinton “promises ‘the biggest investment in good-paying jobs since World War II’ by means of a mixture of tough trade negotiations, investment in domestic manufacturing, infrastructure investment, research and development, regulatory relief for small business, debt-free higher education and a tax credit to subsidize apprenticeships.”

It is clear that Lind is counting on the mouse. “Politicians should tell working Americans what they need to hear, not what they want to hear.” It is also clear that neither of the two major candidates is going to say, in the middle of a campaign, that we don’t need that old magic feather.

Rousing conclusion

So here we are. We are Dumbo. We think it was the feather that enabled us to fly. That’s the good life/good jobs illusion. But a team of policy wonks and legislators—bipartisan groups, both of them—have devised a way for us to fly without the feather. We can live the good life now with “bad jobs,” or what we used to think of as bad jobs.

good-job-5All we need now is the mouse. But politicians, people who are actually running for office and who tell voters “what they need to hear,” lose . And not only do they lose, but they also take a lot of other candidates down with them, candidates much further down the ballot.

So this isn’t really cowardice, which is what Lind seems to think. It is responsible leadership. They have good reasons for not telling voters the bad news and the good news. The bad news is that the whole “feather thing” is gone and isn’t coming back. The good news is that we don’t need it any more.

But we do need that mouse.

[1]New America is a think tank and civic enterprise committed to renewing American politics, prosperity, and purpose in the Digital Age. We generate big ideas, bridge the gap between technology and policy, and curate broad public conversation.
[2] I I think that I, personally, would prefer to talk of “a good life” as a life that combines personal wholeness, meaningful social interaction, and life in a polity characterized by justice, at least, and by trust and solidarity at most.
[3] The “new way” for Dumbo is, from an aerodynamic standpoint, exactly the same as the old way. He has these enormous ears and he can use them to fly. But aerodynamics isn’t everything. Dumbo can fly because he thinks he can fly and the feather is the outward symbol of that ability. So the “new way” is flying without believing it is the feather that is doing it.

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Look like what you mean

The great thing about fighting a war with intercontinental ballistic missiles is that you don’t have to know a lot about your enemies. You load up a barrel full of destruction and heave it off to “do bad things” toslutty-2 the bad people over there. Of course, there are other things that are incredibly bad—like when an ICBM lands on you, sent by people following the same script. Still, firing them off is a pretty tidy action.

The nuclear exchange model

I discovered just last week that there is a “SlutWalk” in Portland which is supposed to serve as a retaliation for remarks made in Toronto in 2011. Seeing Portland’s response as retaliation is what brought an exchange of ICBMs to mind. In Willamette Week, a local paper, Marty Smith wrote an article about it. He provides this much background.

In 2011, a police officer named Michael Sanguinetti told a campus crowd in Toronto that female students “should avoid dressing like sluts in order not to be victimized.”

First, without going into the merits of his argument, I want to recognize Sanguinetti as a Man of Courage. He went onto a college campus and said either a) that women are sexually abused because they dress provocatively or b) that they would not be abused if they did not dress provocatively. If he said either of those things, then he came very close to saying that “women who dress like that get what they deserve” or that the men who abuse them are free from any blame because they could not help responding.

I don’t know if that is what Sanguinetti had in mind, but if he did, I think that was the initial ICBM strike. Portland’s response was predictably bellicose. Marty Smith puts it this way.

SlutWalk was founded in response to these remarks: The “slutty” attire worn by marchers proudly asserts a woman’s right to wear (or not wear) whatever she chooses without being shamed for it.

looks like an ICBM counterstrike to me. Women have the right to wear anything they want without “being shamed” for it. The interesting thing to me is the sudden shift into the passive voice. The women are “being shamed” by someone. That means at the very least that someone is telling these women that they shouldn’t be wearing such an outfit. It may mean more than that. The great thing about the sudden introduction of the passive voice is that it enables us to single these “shamers” out for…special shame, I suppose.

So the nuclear exchange could be summarize like this. Strike 1: Women who dress like sluts and are abused as a result are getting what they deserve. [1] Strike 2: Women have the right to wear whatever they want without fearing adverse consequences.

The communication model

So I have an idea. Maybe nuclear exchanges aren’t the best way to approach this issue. I think conversation might be a better metaphor. “The way I present myself,” or just “what I wear” for today’s essay, is something I choose to say about who I am and what my intentions are. What I say is not gobbledegook; it relies on broadly accepted meanings. [2]

Here’s a very helpful example from a piece by Peggy Orenstein in the New York Times, which you can see here.

An economics major taking a gender studies class is getting dressed in her college dorm room for a night out, cheerfully discussing sexual stereotyping in advertising with Orenstein — while at the same time grabbing a miniskirt and a bottle of vodka, the better to achieve her evening goal: to “get really drunk and make out with someone.” “You look hot,” her friend tells her — and the student, apparently registering the oddness of the scene, turns to Orenstein. “In my gender class I’m all, ‘That damned patriarchy,’ ” she says. “But . . . what’s the point of a night if you aren’t getting attention from guys?” Her ambition, she explains, “is to be just slutty enough, where you’re not a prude but you’re not a whore. . . . Finding that balance is every college girl’s dream, you know what I mean?”

Please note that what she calls “every college girl’s dream” is not getting laid or not getting laid. It is navigating between two “looks,” each of which will be meaningful to others and both of which she rejects. She wants to say something about herself—“just slutty enough,” is what she is after. She knows the look (or thinks she does) that will convey “whore” and she is trying to avoid it; she knows the look that will convey “prude” and she is trying to avoid that as well.

This girl is a terrific example of the system I would like to see in place—the conversation system— as opposed to the nuclear exchange scenario I described and rejected first. And here’s another one. This one comes from a site called Aggie Catholics and the message I want to share here has been devised by Kristine Cranley for a very conservative setting. The reason for what Cranley calls “modesty” is this:

First of all, I want to assert that the reason we dress modestly is NOT [the caps are in the original] because our feminine bodies are bad or ugly or intrinsically ‘occasions of sin’. Simultaneously, it is NOT because all men think about is sex, or that they are incapable of looking at us without lust. Rather modesty involves speaking the truth with our bodies. …Whether we intend to or not, revealing too much of our bodies sends a message that we are sexually available to them.

The quotation is accurate.  I put the bold font in myself.

I like that approach in the sense that it is a communicative, rather than nuclear, approach. Don’t send a message you don’t want to send. Furthermore, as Cranley says later, “modesty involves speaking the truth with our bodies,” and I think she is right for the audience she is addressing.

lust-6The woman who is trying to look “just slutty enough” is an example of the communications paradigm. The women who are dressing modestly so that they will send the message they want to send are, likewise, examples of the communications paradigm. And when Cranley complains: “Too loose. Too tight. Too low. Too high. Who teaches us about these things anymore?,” she is complaining about a lack of the vocabulary that will enable women to say what they mean.

Sooner or later, some reader is going to point out that men have a vocabulary as well. I am inclined on theoretical grounds to say that is very likely true, but i have no idea what it is. My sense of the courtship exchange is—with a notable exception I am going to describe before I give this up—is that women dress in a way that says what they want and men respond by going up and saying, “So…let’s follow up on your suggestion.” I know that is crude, but my understanding of the interaction is crude. [3]

Doing it Right

On the other hand, no man is required to follow the lead a woman provides. I have an example in mind. A student of mine at the University of Oregon was set up on a blind date by some friends of his and her. In preparation for the meeting, her friends—through ignorance or a desire for entertainment—talked the woman into dressing very seductively.

As Kristine Cranley laments, no one teaches anymore about “too loose, too tight, too low, and too high.” And if that was the case here, the woman was being forced to say something about herself by friends with no knowledge of either the vocabulary or the syntax of the situation. She went downstairs to meet this student of mine “dressed slutty” but without any slutty intentions.

The man kept his head and said something that his buddies would have mocked him for if they had ever learned about it. He said, “My friends and your friends said we would like to get to know each other. I don’t think I can get to know you while you’re wearing that. Would you mind changing into something that would give us a better chance to get to know each other?”

I don’t think a date had ever said anything that pleased her as much as that did and she said as much when she told me about it. She presented herself (unwillingly) to him as an “it.” He responded by asking if she would be willing to be addressed as “you.” She happily changed into something that did not detract so forcibly from the project of getting to know each other and they went out together. [4]

This is the best story I know about sexual interaction considered as communication. In the nuclear exchange model, she would have demanded to dress like a slut but not to be treated like a slut. He would have claimed the right to treat her like a slut because that is what she was asking for.

I am not pitching, in this essay, sluttiness or modesty. I am pitching communication. I think it is better than blowing each other up.

[1] With charity toward Mr. Sanguinetti, I think it is only fair to imagine that he might not have said that. He very likely said something that could be caricatured in that manner, and when you speak in public on matters about which other feel strongly, that happens.
[2] Even within the conversation metaphor, we take it for granted that words have common meanings. In the present instance, “slut” means the same thing to both ICBM communities. They want to do different things, but they rely on the word to mean the same thing.
[3] In my defense, I will say that this unsubtle narrative in which the woman signals her readiness for interaction and I respond by opening a conversation is all I know from my own knowledge. Of course, I have read books and seen movies where other, more aggressive, styles of interaction are pursued. Also, I have the stories told by friends and it is always possible that some of those stories are true.
[4] And, several years later, married each other.

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