Category Archives: Getting Old

“Estate” is a noun. Sigh.

Posted on September 13, 2016 by hessd

No one “estates” anything to anyone. The language won’t allow it even if the tax codes would. The defining feature of an estate, in the modern sense of the word, is that it belongs to you. On the other hand, … Continue reading →

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Pacific Retirement Services

Posted on August 19, 2016 by hessd

For a lot of people, the word pacific is always capitalized (Pacific) and refers to a body of water just west of California. Nothing wrong with that as far as it goes, but it doesn’t really go very far. It … Continue reading →

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The Muppet Musicians of Bremen

Posted on August 10, 2016 by hessd

In 1972, when The Muppet Musicians of Bremen was broadcast, my children were 12, 10, and 8, so I am pretty sure we watched it together. But somehow, the family got a CD of the show, and my kids were … Continue reading →

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Fitting in

Posted on August 2, 2016 by hessd

It isn’t always what you want to do, of course, but it is probably something you always want to be able to do. In Abraham Maslow’s well-known hierarchy of needs, “fitting in” and “not fitting in” are adjacent goals. My … Continue reading →

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Leaving home and coming home

Posted on July 26, 2016 by hessd

“Coming and going and going and coming, and always too soon,” sings Lili von Schtupp in her Wild West barroom show in Blazing Saddles. When I began to call the series of essays describing this move “Moving in Time,” part … Continue reading →

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How not to feel like a frail old man

Posted on June 26, 2016 by hessd

It’s not as easy as you might think. Here are some things we need to consider just to get started. First, it would help a good deal of you are actually not frail[1], not old, or not male. That would … Continue reading →

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A New Home, but still “Home”

Posted on May 20, 2016 by hessd

I commented earlier on our “going home plan,” i.e., the arrangements we need to have in place before we die. [1] But if I want to think of where Bette and I choose to live as a place we will … Continue reading →

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Dementia and Orthodoxy

Posted on March 25, 2016 by hessd

I get into trouble more, in my opinion, than I really deserve to. It is true that I do like to have words mean something. I know that is troublesome. I like it even better when the words mean what … Continue reading →

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Being “useful”

Posted on March 20, 2016 by hessd

“We do not take well to uselessness.” So says Wendy Lustbader in her superb Counting on Kindness: the Dilemmas of Dependency. She has older people in mind, but I would like to explore the idea today in a somewhat broader … Continue reading →

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Being Nice (or not)

Posted on March 6, 2016 by hessd

I had a truly amazing experience this week.  It happened right in front of me in less than a minute and I have been thinking about it ever since.  I was there to buy batteries.  A more complicated sale–the earphones … Continue reading →

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