There is a story I used to laugh at. It was told on Edward C. Banfield, the noted sociologist. It goes that a friend stopped him on the Commons to ask a question about sociology and certainty. It could have been anything complicated. Banfield launched into an extended and persuasive oration on how sociology does and does not rely on certain knowledge. It was impressive. When he finished, some time later, he asked his. friend, “Oh…which way was I going when you stopped me?” The friend pointed to the left. “Oh good,” said Banfield, “Then I’ve had lunch.”
I want to refer to Banfield’s performance as “within.” The friend provides the context. Banfield’s brain serves up all the information that could possibly be needed; it organizes it into coherent sections; and it makes judgments about how much of an answer is really required. Impressive.
By “between,” I mean Banfield’s—actually, I mean my own; that’s why I told the story—ability to shift from one setting to another. In the story, Banfield is the classic “absent-minded professor.” But I am sitting here writing this essay because a meeting was cancelled. Another date was set and I agreed to it, but I didn’t take this date off the calendar. So here I am; and no one else is. It is a classic “between.”
My morning meds come in a tray with the days of the week on the top. The days are divided into little compartments. I feel a great relief when I take the pills out of “the right compartment” because it reminds me what day it is. It’s not quite “Oh good, then I’ve had lunch,” but it isn’t very far away either.
I am preparing for a discussion of high and low christologies, several weeks hence. This particular episode will be about how some of the Synoptic writers, Mark in particular, present Jesus in unflattering terms sometimes, while John’s idea is that Jesus is the very next thing to God. “Low and High” respectively. In writing it, I integrated material from Raymond E. Brown’s The Death of the Messiah, which I have read over and over; from a Greek lexicon, which plays out some of the terms of emotional suffering. What does John mean when he has Jesus say (John 12:27) “ Now my soul is troubled” using a perfect and passive verb for “troubled?” The perfect verb ought to mean that the time of “troubling” has passed. The passive voice ought to mean that Jesus is the object of an action beginning elsewhere. Why does the New Jerusalem Bible translate it “is troubled?” Why are the commentators uninterested in this problem of tense and voice? Within.
And when I finish this essay, I am going to have to try to remember what to do with my meds. I took my evening meds this morning by mistake. I could just take my morning meds this evening, but some of the medications accumulate in the blood and some do not. I can’t believe that I was thinking about something else when I chose which batch of pills to take. But I was. Between.
I have a paper calendar I keep in my pocket as I have for years. I refer to it many times a day now because I can’t remember what I saw the last time I looked. I used to use it like a dictionary. Most words I spell correctly because I remember them, but if I am uncertain, I can always check the dictionary. So I could always check my pocket calendar if I need to, but I am confident I remember what the week holds. Not any more. Now I check over and over just so I will get it right. Between.
Before I began to develop the within and between notion, I imagined that people were once sharp and present and then they began to fade and to become a little blurry around the edges. They don’t remember the people in the conversation; they don’t remember what the topic was. I don’t think that any more. I now think that I have a kind of “old people attention” which is pretty impressive until the task gets changed. My within performance is still good enough to meet my obligations, some of which require that I function at a pretty high level. But my between performances are failing quickly and I need to find another way to remember and to confirm the commitments I make.
I’m not sure just what that way will be. I am part of a study of aging being conducted by the Oregon Health and Sciences University (OHSU) and every week I answer the question, “In the past week, is someone newly assisting you with medication management, bathing, dressing, or grooming?” I always say NO without thinking about it, but this morning I took the wrong meds. I am still going to say NO, but I am not going to roll my eyes, as I normally do. “Assist me with medication management. Harrumph!”
I really think I can do better. Paying more attention to the way I organize and move between tasks would be a good idea. The second place good idea is to have fewer tasks, but I don’t want to rush into that. Having chosen these tasks myself, I have a real appreciation for many of them.
We’ll see. My idea for today is that there are two things to pay attention to: there are “within” things; and then there are “between” things. Gotta watch those between things.
